I would tell myself to realize that you’re not alone in this fight, that there are others, so many others, that are going through the same thing with their loved ones, to find as many support people. As you can, to surround yourself with. Support groups that will help you to find resources that will help you to know that you’re not in this alone. That will also help you to know that you can get through this. And that it often takes tough love because a person with schizophrenia doesn’t realize they’re sick, in most cases, and you have to be willing to make some hard decisions for your loved one, even though they may hate you in that moment for it. But knowing that you’re trying to save their life is what’s most important. And even though they may not see it as love, knowing that you’re doing everything you possibly can for your loved one out of love and a hope for their future.

Well, the advice I’d give them is more or less … You know what I mean? Listen to them that they’re telling the truth, that the illness you have, or the problems you have, are not like the way you should be. And that’s more or less, I think, what a lot of people do. They get into their illness or problem concern, or calling it more of the way they should be, rather than living an actual calm and normal lifestyle. And that’s more or less the one you got seems to be a lot of times hard to change in somebody’s mind.

Well if I could travel back in time and meet the person that or talk with the person, loved one when he was first diagnosed, the advice I would give to him is that I know that this is scary, and this is not something that you probably understand. But trust me as your mother to allow you to be successful and be able to move forward in your life. And it may be scary, just trust me. And then I would describe my son as a person that probably felt afraid. He felt afraid about what was changing to him and what’s happening to him, and the voices that he started hearing.

If I can travel back in time with a loved one I’ve had empathy and compassion more than ever, because then I know what they’re dealing with such as myself on a daily basis, dealing with the public and family.

I was diagnosed when I was a teenager. That’s when I felt a lot of shame. I didn’t want to talk about my diagnosis. I was really reluctant to meds and I was also not very honest with my treatment team as far as symptoms. I think the biggest thing I would like to tell my younger self is that there’s no shame in receiving a mental health diagnosis. I would also like to tell them that their treatment team really was on their side and that treatment works better with honesty. And at the same time, I’d like to let my past self know that healing is a process and that their journey to acceptance and healing is valid and okay, even though it took time. Describing my condition now, I think that’s hard because I think I want to give hope that things will get better and are better. And in many ways they have, I’ve definitely improved a lot in my functioning and what I’m able to do, but it does still impact my life a lot. And so maybe what I would want to say is that you’ll learn to gain the coping skills to get through it, to get through the challenges and that you’ll find the people and the support you need to get through it. Or just that you are strong enough to handle the challenges that come your way because it is a process always. I don’t think there’s going to be an end point in my life, where everything is better and fixed and gone all of the sudden, but it has gotten better. And I think I would like to let my past self know that.

I’m not really sure how to answer this question. If I could go back to, probably, when [PII redacted] was born, I would start some sort of therapy much sooner. Before [PII redacted] was “schizophrenic,” he had this issue. No one could really define it. We always thought he was autistic or had Asperger’s syndrome. But the physicians now, the psychiatrist now, believe that was a rare case of schizophrenia, even as a child. Whether or not that’s true, I honestly have no idea. He never talked to himself. He never giggled to himself. He never behaved the way that he does now. He was actually just the opposite. He was very introverted. He’s still introverted, but he would not talk to people. He could never create any relationships. They diagnosed him as severe social anxiety disorder. Antidepressants they tried on him. That didn’t work, and things just progressively got worse. So if I had to go back, I would say trying harder, maybe, earlier, to find the correct diagnosis, even though I fought really hard. And autism was a new thing when he was young, and there wasn’t much out there, and I live in a state… I’ve been told it’s the worst state to have any mental illness help. But I think that’s what I would do. Try to find someone else to help him.

Well, the beginning was absolutely awful. We had no idea what was happening and we had no help. There’s no one you can turn to. I did not know about NAMI, the National Alliance for Mental Illness and it wasn’t as strong an organization as it is today, especially here in my state and town. And so we were really alone for three years and it was pretty horrible. Unfortunately, what I would tell that person is you have to become strong yourself. You have to take care of yourself or you can’t help them. And it’s going to be, hopefully for them, I tell them it won’t be a long haul, but for us, it’s never ending, and it’s been a long haul, constant crisis, constant things going, needing our involvement, and it’s been really, really a rough road. But the thing is to be there for them when you can. And when you can’t, you’re not. Sometimes we just couldn’t do anything. And one thing he did say once was, “I know I can rely on my parents. They’ll be there for me”, but sometimes there’s nothing you can do. It’s a hard road. You shouldn’t do it alone, and you definitely need to be involved in the National Alliance for Mental Illness.

I would tell the person that no matter what they go through in life, as long as you have will and determination, you can get through anything. I would tell him how much I love him. I would spend more time with him one-on-one. I would have more activities, do more activities with him. But I would also just advise him more about his personal value and try to raise his self-esteem enough so that he can endure all the troubles that come and the hardships that come with this disorder.

I would tell my younger self that everything ended up to be okay, that all those trouble that I go through in my years trying to find a right treatment and medication plan will eventually be found, and I will have a support network that I need and so just to be okay. And I’ll keep up the hope.

If I could go back in time and meet the person I was when I was first diagnosed, I would let them know that it’s going to be okay, and that all of the trials and errors are going to be worth it in the end. And it’s a lot easier to deal with now.

I would tell myself that things do get better. I would say that I feel stable and able to live comfortably.

If I could travel back in time and meet the person who I was, I would probably tell them that it takes some time getting used to, but at the same time, it’s not very hard to live without medications to deal with schizophrenia because I have been doing it going on almost two years. And it’s been a hard challenge but at the same time I’ve been doing it and I know that I could do it later on in life if I just trust myself.

I would tell my 10-year-old self that medication sometimes doesn’t make things better. Sometimes it can make you sicker and it can make things worse. And I would tell my future self that everything gets more manageable as you get older.

The advice I would give is just to let them know that it is going to be okay and there is going to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and that there are some things that you can do that will ease the difficulties, such as exercising, getting a lot of sunlight, hanging out with friends, doing fun recreational activities like going out to eat. And the main thing I would say is just that with the right medication you will be okay. And I feel even though I do have these episodes, I do feel a lot better now. I feel a lot more in control of my life and I am sane most of the time other than the episodes. So I would just let that person know it’s going to be okay.

When I was in my twenties, I did get fired from a job position. I would have liked to have probably not go on certain medications and stuck with one and probably not been in certain relationship with another person, also finished school. And I think I would have had a more stable life had I stayed living with my mother instead of moving to different various places in Houston, and possibly had a psychiatrist back in my twenties. And also I would have worked out more, maintained my health better.

What I would tell the person that I was before all of this started is that, don’t be afraid of getting help. Don’t be afraid of going to talk to people and getting support. Because it can really turn your life for the better and it can really help take the stress off. And just as a caregiver, taking care of yourself and working on self-care. And then from my husband’s perspective, just getting the support that he needs so he knows that it’s normal, that he’s suffering from an illness and that there’s not a problem with him, it’s just he has an illness. And just, I guess connecting with people and being honest with people about how you’re feeling. And medication is okay.